Daren Givoque, Financial Advisor
O’Farrell Wealth & Estate Planning | Assante Capital Management Ltd.
The new year is a time to look towards the future and many people mark the occasion by making new years resolutions. If you are going through a divorce or separation the holidays were likely a very challenging time and it can be difficult to look towards the future. However, with the right attitude, you can make some valuable new years resolutions that will help you start the new year on the right foot. Here are five examples of new years resolutions that will help you move past your divorce and build a new life for yourself.
Forgiveness is a key component for moving on after divorce. Resolve to forgive your ex for the pain they caused you both during your marriage and the divorce process. Hanging on to anger and resentment will only cause you more pain, especially if you have to stay in contact with them for the children.
It is also important to forgive yourself. You may have done some things throughout your marriage or divorce that you aren’t proud of. Practicing forgiveness is a key component in healing and will help you move forward and be a much better person in the long run.
Be a cooperative co-parent
Having kids makes divorce that much more complicated. It usually means that cutting ties completely with your ex is not a possibility. Resolve to be civil with your ex when it comes to milestone events that involve your children. Cooperate when it comes to parenting time and don’t badmouth your ex in front of your kids. You children shouldn’t be worried that Wold War 3 will break out every time you are in the same room as your ex. Being a cooperative co-parent is truly the best thing you can do for yourself and you children, no matter how difficult it may seem.
This one may seem a bit cliché, but it has been proven that regular exercise can significantly improve your mood. If you are going through a tough divorce it is likely that you are experiencing many difficult emotions. Taking the time to be active in a way that you enjoy will help stave off depression and make you more resilient in the new year. Something as simple as going for a walk or taking a yoga class 4-5 times a week can make a big difference in your mood and help you work through the difficult feelings you are having surrounding your divorce.
Divorce can bring up all sorts of negative emotions and it can be difficult to be nice to those around you as well as yourself. Be kind to yourself by making time to do things you enjoy. Maybe that means taking up a new hobby or making time to meet friends for coffee. Practicing kindness will not only help you move on but will making you an all-around happier person.
While it is important to be practice self compassion when going through divorce it is also very important to have all your ducks in a row. Divorce affects every aspect of your life and it is important to know that you will be able to support your life financially. Create a budget, analyze your retirement savings and look at your investments. Talking to a Financial Advisor or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who can help you look at your current situation and plan for the future is a great idea to ensure you are making informed decisions in the new year.